Saturday, March 27, 2010

There's a new boy in town

I did it. I crawled out from the rock I spoke of in an earlier post and went out to meet a new potential sub. I don't have a nickname for him yet, I need to spend more time with him before his nickname hits me over the head like a falling brick. He and I met on Fetlife, we've been chatting for a week or so and we mutually decided to meet up.

I will admit I was a bit reluctant only because he proclaimed to be 'curious' about exploring being submissive and I'm getting a better sense of myself and realizing that I really want someone that knows he is submissive. But, who am I to deny someone the opportunity to explore, right?

We met at a restaurant, sat in the bar area and spent some time chatting. Mostly vanilla stuff, the conversation flowed fairly easily between us so we pushed on to the real reason we were there. To find out what each of us was looking for from the lifestyle.

I asked him what he's interested in, what he's curious about, what he thinks he'd like to try and I got mostly the standard answers....not that there's anything wrong with that! And then I got to my favorite topic when it comes to wearing panties. I asked him how he felt about that. He paused. Then lowered his gaze and he blushed. I pointed out he was blushing at that thought and he said 'I'd be ok with that, I'd wear panties for you'.

Something clicked and I had a feeling I'd have some fun with this boy. I didn't want to get too hopeful as this was just our first meeting but as our conversation continued I began to sense that maybe he wants this more than he thinks he does. Before the night was over he mentioned he needed to use the restroom and asked permission, which I granted...this time. And as to be expected he thanked me when he got back.

We've made tentative plans to meet up again soon and I have no doubt there will be some panty shopping in the very near future for him. I might even post a picture of him in something cute and frilly!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Where do we go from here?

I've decided it's time to get out from under the rock I've been living under, get myself out there and start meeting people. I won't be able to explore what I want from the lifestyle if I stay hidden behind a computer screen.

I've recently been chatting with two new people through Fetlife, one is a Dom, one wants to explore his submissive side. Which raises the question of why is it that I seem to attract those that 'think' they want to be submissive? Why can't I find someone that KNOWS he's submissive and wants to spend time with me? I suppose I'll have to ponder that for a bit.

After a few days of chatting with these guys they have each expressed in meeting in person. Now normally this would cause me to pull in the troops and make a hasty retreat but I've decided that is getting me nowhere, fast. Certainly being careful and safe is the key here but from this point forward I will be more receptive to meeting in person sooner rather than later.

Wish me luck and I'll keep you all posted!!

The local boy/Boy

Earlier back in November I introduced the local boy, having just recently met him at that time I didn't have much to report. There's a reason why I listed him as the boy/Boy....when he and I first met he had expressed an interest in exploring his submissive side, hence the 'boy' reference. Along the way of our conversations as well as spending more time with him it became clear this was more of a switch situation for both of us. Sometimes he was more interested in being the dominant one, other times it was me.

Unfortunately for us we do not have an ideal place or good amount of time to play. We make due as best we can but it does get frustrating. Lucky for us we have almost daily contact, sometimes we are able to get together a couple times a week for some play time, and we are both enjoying the openness for exploring with each other.

I'm finding that more often than not he's the 'top' in our play times, which is fine with me because he gives good bare handed spankings. Nice red marks on my ass and welts where his fingers have made contact with my skin with each swift smack.

I have a feeling we'll be in touch for a long time, he's become a good friend and a steadfast supporter of mine throughout the past few months. I'll be posting more in the future about our time together.

Bon Voyage!

If you go back a few posts you'll find information about El Capitan (affectionately known as EC) and this is an update on things with him. After a few months of hanging on to what connection we had together, and spending a few days in a row with him, it became clear we weren't suited for each other. I think it boiled down to we each wanted different things, searching for the right person and maybe we got a bit comfortable with each other's company in the meantime.

Recently I had a 'lightbulb moment' as it pertained to him and it made me realize things will never progress with him and it was time to move on. Do I wish things could have been different? Yes. But there comes a time when you have to put the stick down and stop beating that dead horse and walk away. So I did. While I have a sense of loss for that part of my life I know it was the right thing to do and I'm sure I'll look back on it one day and know for certain I made the right decision.

I have no idea if he reads my blog or not but if he is reading it, I will say again that I really do wish him the best.

Where I've Been

Has it really been nearly four months since I've last posted? I know I have a small number of followers of this blog but over those few months several have asked why I haven't updated. A few of my followers are close enough to me that they know the details, of which I won't specifically get into here, and for their support I truly do love them for that! Not that I don't love the rest of you.

As stated in my last update I've had a few major upheavals happen in my life. I realize I'm not the only one that has things happen in their life that shifts their focus so I won't pretend my issues are any more important than anyone else's. I knew there would come a day when my mind would switch gears and I'd practically run to the computer to update the blog. That happened last night and sitting here with a cup of coffee, music in the background, it feels 'right' after all these months to let it all hang out. So to speak.

While my issues in my personal life are nowhere near being resolved, I have moved to a point of acceptance for what has happened and am now into the stage of moving forward. It still won't be easy, there will be bumps in the road for a while to come but I am in a better frame of mind to deal with it all. At least today I am, tomorrow could be a different story.

Again, thank you to my followers for their support the last few months and let's get on with the updates!!