Sunday, August 16, 2009

My Dom SD

SD (Scary Dom)

SD got his nickname from my reaction to him from the very beginning and to this day. I audibly gasp when he messages me and I9ve told him this. My ‘fear’ of him is a mental thing. I’m pretty sure I fear what I know SD will do to me…mentally, physically, and emotionally. Even if it might all be a good thing. We’ve had long talks about this which usually end up with me feeling like SD is prowling around me.

I first met SD when I was still with the Alpha. He’s always been respectful of the fact that I belonged to someone else yet has also has always made it clear He desires me. He listened to me through the months when things with the Alpha weren’t going well but He knew I had to come to the decision to leave on my own.

He requires certain protocol, certain routines and basic tasks without me questioning them. He lives the lifestyle, is very good at what He does and I have no doubt would take me places I never thought possible. And I’m not talking about a vacation to the Bahamas. Sounds perfect, right? Not so much for me.

Living the lifestyle for Him means more than one submissive or slave in His ownership. I do not feel comfortable in that dynamic and have told Him so. He now understands that even though there is a part of me that desires what He can give me, as a Dom, there’s a bigger part of me that cannot serve Him and be ‘one of many’.
At this point we’re friends; our contact is on a fairly regular basis. Our conversations sometimes flow easily and other times we struggle. I’m not sure where things will end up with Him but I do enjoy him being around and I’m sure somewhere in our friendship I will find a few things I have learned about myself from Him.

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